How to help children cope with moving
BY: NORMAFLANAGAN

Each year, one of every five American families moves into a new home. Moving is stressful for everyone involved because it is a major change. But packing up and moving is particularly difficult for the children because they don't have as many coping strategies for this new life experience.

When you go to bed at night, doesn't it feel good to lie down in a safe place? Moving can upset that sense of security, especially in children. It can be as long as twelve to fifteen months before children truly feel comfortable in their new home.

Individual families react differently to the stressful transition of moving. Some families feel stress two weeks before and two weeks after a move. For many families, the actual move is a time when everyone pitches in and works together. Reality starts to sink in about a month later. After a month, family members begin to realize how much they miss friends and the places they left behind.

Parents can help their children adjust to a move. Children's confusion and frustration can be eased with understanding, support, and comfort. Here are some basic ways to help children become comfortable in their new home.

1. Help children prepare before the move. Let them know what to expect in the new home. use books to help them understand what moving means. Help them say goodbye to the old home and neighborhood before they leave. If possible, let them visit the new home before they move.

2. Encourage children to be a "helper" during the actual move. Give them the chance to help pack up their toys and books. Allow them a voice in some decisions. Allow them to help decide how to arrange their new rooms or to help choose the color of the paint or carpet. Taking an active roll in the moving process builds children 's self-esteem and helps them feel some control over the move.

3. Keep daily routines as normal as possible. Try to get up, got to bed, and eat meals at the usual times. Follow your child's regular bedtime routines.

4. Communicate. Allow children to share their feelings about the move. Share some of your own feelings about moving. Talk about the exciting things that will happen in the new place. Be understanding of angry or sad feelings - many people go through a grief process when they move.

5. Help build relationships in the new place. Help children find other children to play with. Introduce them to their new teachers before they start school. Involve them in an activity, such as sports or dance, where they will meet other children.

6. Be patient. Remember that feeling comfortable in a new home and a new neighborhood takes time.

Moving can be exciting for many families. But moving is sometimes the result of other problems, such as divorce, death, or financial problems. Having more than one stressor can stretch a family's coping skills to the limit. Short-term counseling may help children and families transition through this challenging time. It is important for family members to be supportive and understanding of each other's emotional needs.

Moving can be a difficult and stressful transition for children and families. But the stress that comes with moving can be reduced by working together as a family. Each member can help make the move easier by recognizing other's feelings and cooperating to make the adjustment go as smoothly as possible.

The University of Georgia College of Agricultural and Environmental Sciences