What would Hillary do?
To the Editor:

Political donations nowadays are flowing, Tsunami-like, into Democratic presidential candidates, as they but trickle into the slim coffers of Republican presidential hopefuls. Americans are angry, not only with the Republican administration but the Congress as well, on both sides of the aisle. They aren't absolutely certain upon whom to heap blame, but the Bush administration, including Vice President Cheney, cast by clever Democratic tacticians in the role of the evil monk Rasputin, offers a too taste tempting target.

So will the Democrats sweep both houses of Congress AND the White House? Probability doesn't bode well for the Republican Party. And based on current aspiring Democratic presidential popularity ratings, the American people may witness the historic advent of our first female president.

I was recently musing on that contingency, and found myself imagining a possible conversation between an outgoing George Bush and the returning resident Hillary Clinton, once the ritual baton of office was passed and state secrets had been disclosed.

Now a bit less than tense, the two talked:

"Madame President, for my own edification, I wonder if we might exchange our separate philosophies regarding world peace and the presumed fate of the American way of life."

"Yes, Mr. President, but first, may I call you George?" "Of course, and may I call you Hillary?"

"Well, I suppose . . ."

"Well, Hillary, my goal has been to guard the American people from a Crusade-like invasion of Jihad-bent Moslem extremists, intent upon crushing our Judeo-Christian democracy, of ending our freedoms, and forcing our unqualified acceptance of Allah, the God of Islam. And I've read that they would hope to enforce their intent by a measure they call 'purification,' meaning that either we would accept the 'fact' that 'Allah is our God and Muhammad is his Prophet,' or face death. What are your thoughts on all this, Hillary?"

"George, I'm sorry to say, you're out of here because you're a 'negativist.' I'm 'positive.' The people you accuse suffered repeated Christian Crusade invasions, their land was torn apart in 1948, with implementation of the 1917 British Balfour Declaration favoring reestablishment of a Jewish 'National Home' in Palestine. No wonder they're upset. Kindness and understanding is all they want. And I will lead a world effort to win their forgiveness. My plan is to begin by inviting any of their number to visit us here in America, to see how we live. They will, of course, be offered a fast track approach to citizenship, and of course, the right to vote. If we assure them total equality with the American people, they will be touched; indeed, softened. It's all quite simple, George, and should fit neatly within the depth of your intellect."

"Thank you for that compliment, Hillary."

"My pleasure, George, but my title, 'Madame President' will be appropriate for the rest of our little talk. One question, though, George: Will you continue residing in Texas and vacationing in Kennebunkport?"

"Why no, Madame President, Laura and the kids and I will be moving to Alaska. My information has it that the Moslems hate cold weather."

Tom McKevitt