A bad experience

Jared Putnam

As much as I felt like instantly complaining about once again seeing Michael Vick in the news for all the wrong reasons, I thought I would wait until all the details came out. After Miami I n t e r n a t i o n a l Airport security officers discovered that Vick was trying to board his flight with a water battle containing a secret compartment laced with something that smelled like marijuana, Falcons management handled the situation like Vick was very guilty of something.

Owner Arthur Blank didn't speak. New Head Coach Bobby Petrino didn't speak. Worst of all, Vick himself didn't speak. Am I the only one that just does not like the idea of someone being accused of something and not addressing it? I liken it to the defendant who chooses not to testify. What does it say when you are afraid that you will only incriminate yourself further?

But here we are weeks later, and what have we learned about the situation? Not a lot. It seems destined to fade into obscurity. Tests supposedly found "no illegal substance" in the bottle. Airport officials erased the security tape. The principals involved want it behind them.

The important thing to remember is that this is no way appears to be a concerted effort designed to protect the marketability of one of the NFL's most exciting players. No sir, not at all. It isn't even that suspicious when you think about it. After all, who among us hasn't at one time or another tried to smuggle a water bottle onto a plane, complete with a secret compartment holding a substance that was "mistaken" for illegal drugs.

The truth is that secret compartmental water bottles are the wave of the future. Who wants all that extra room in a suitcase when you can just stuff your favorite shirt inside that water bottle? As for that extra little adrenaline rush that comes with the question of, "Will I be flagged as a terrorist," that's just a bonus for all the thrill seekers out there. How can base jumping hold a candle to the rush brought on by the risk of getting sent to Guantanamo Bay?

Now, as a Falcons' fan I feel better knowing that management did at least address the situation. After all, this has been a nine-month period in which Vick settled out of court after being sued for allegedly giving a woman herpes (knowingly, and while going by the alias Ron Mexico), gave Atlanta fans the finger after a loss, and had an airport incident with a funny smelling substance tucked inside a spy-gear water bottle. Asked about Vick's bad behavior, Falcons GM Rich McKay gave his thoughts on the sequence of events.

Said McKay, "Is there a pattern? No, I don't think there is." Come on McKay, admitting that there is a problem is the first step to getting help. Or better yet, to getting a new quarterback.

In any case, McKay did say that Falcons management expressed their "displeasure" to their superstar. In other words they basically said, "No no, bad Vick, bad!" Still, it won't mean much unless they followed it up by bonking him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. If they are really serious about breaking him from the habit, they need to track down that bottle and rub his nose in whatever was inside it. Maybe these really are nothing more than faulty methods of housebreaking a puppy, but who's to say they won't actually work on a troubled NFLquarterback? I bet its just a case of no one ever trying it.

Then again, the real problem may be this idea that Michael Vick thinks of himself as "the one," someone who is above the rules that apply to ordinary football players. It makes sense. In the game of football, most quarterbacks are forced to stay inside the hash marks, but Vick freely roams outside them on almost every play. Maybe no one ever told him that in the game of life, scrambling outside the hash marks of the law is a little more frowned upon.

On the field Vick's overinflated sense of self also becomes unfortunate for Falcons' fans, as "the one" concept doesn't fly there either. The NFL is not the Matrix, and Vick himself is not Neo. Although sadly, he probably does have a better shot at learning how to stop bullets with his mind than he does of learning how to complete 60 percent of his passes.

The "Michael Vick experience" was fun for a while, but now it's just turning into a bad experience. Maybe we can look into shipping him to Cincinnati. The Bengals seem to enjoy employing thugs.