INSTIGATING LOGIC
By JARED PUTNAM

Not a Holiday Inn

Convicted killer Eric Rudolph is speaking out against the United States prison system, describing his current place of residence as "a closed-off world designed to isolate inmates from social and environmental stimuli." Well gosh darn, someone needs to look into this right away. It almost sounds like our corrections system just isn't trying hard enough to make prison the super-fun place its supposed to be. If we're not careful, the general public might get the impression that law enforcement is trying to discourage people against becoming serial bombers.

In any case, Rudolph seems to be trying to make the case that he doesn't deserve this kind of treatment. Maybe he does have a point. I mean, if you take any person and compare them to the worst humanity has to offer, they might not seem as by comparison. So who is the most evil guy on the planet? There might be plenty of worthy candidates, but lets take Osama Bin Laden as an example. Rudolph certainly is not Bin Laden, right? After all, Bin Laden is a known terrorist who has hidden in caves and enjoys blowing things up. Rudolph, on the other hand, is completely different in the sense that...um...let's see...um....well, maybe they're not so different after all.

What rhymes with Osama?

Illinois Senator Barack Obama drew large crowds at rallies held in New Hampshire this week. Obama even had time to parody the "Will he or won't he run for president" question by recording the intro to Monday Night Football's game between the St. Louis Rams and Obama's Chicago Bears.

Obama is running off of sheer charisma. He's only a one-term senator, but a lot of people seem to see him as JFK blended with Bill Clinton, Muhammed Ali, and a GQ magazine.

Now I'm all for the American dream as much as anyone else, but the idea that someone named Barack (rhymes with Iraq) Obama (rhymes with Osama) could be the next president is a little too weird for me. If that wasn't strange enough, the guy's middle name is Hussein. Can you imagine the historical irony of that? President Bush spends the bulk of his presidency working to get rid of a foreign dictator named Hussein, only to be succeeded as president by another guy named Hussein? Bizzare.

Puppy case deserves harshest sentence

Lately I have been following the Atlanta trial in which two teenagers are accused of torturing and killing a puppy by putting it in an oven and baking it. It's one of those cases that I never really want to even listen to because of sheer disgust. But its one of those strange fascinations as I'm reminded of what people are capable of doing.

I grew up on a farm, and over the years I had horses, dogs, chickens and various other animals as pets at different times, so I've always had a soft spot for animals.

It just doesn't take a very big person to hurt or kill an animal. An animal can't exactly tell someone what is happening to them like you or I can, and up to this point, laws against animal abuse have seemed weak at best. But it appears that the justice system is finally beginning to get tougher on these crimes, and come to the realization that someone who could torture or kill an animal would probably have little trouble doing the same thing to another human being.

The boys in this particular case are 19 and 17, not a pair of misguided children who didn't know what they were doing. If convicted (and from what I've seen of the case they should be) they deserve to spend a very long time in prison.