INSTIGATING LOGIC
Dishonest wooden boy vs. money hungry dwarf?
By JARED PUTNAM

Every once in a while, someone asks me if I have ever thought about running for political office. The funny part is it always seems like it was intended as a compliment, but I'm never quite sure enough to ask. Sometimes I wonder if the person is saying that because they feel like I would make a good candidate, or if they are just trying to find a polite way to tell me that I sound too much like a politician.

In any case, being only 26, I don't have any real political aspirations at this time, but that's not to say that politics don't interest me. I always vote,

and I'm usually very much up to date on what is going on at the national, state, and local levels.

But for now I just stick to watching, albeit through somewhat jaded eyes. In fact, when it comes to my generation, jaded may very well be the operative word for our take on politics. Political satire shows like The Daily Show are said to be watched by one half of all college students. When the last two presidents have been as...colorful...as Clinton and Bush have been, who can blame them? Now, after watching the

Georgia Governor's race over the past few weeks, I finally feel like I have that situation figured out. In fact, I'm so confident that I'm going to tell you beyond a shred of a doubt who the winner will be. Ready? It may come as a shock, but it won't be Sonny Perdue. Does this mean that despite a double digit deficit in the polls, I'm expecting Mark Taylor to win? No, it won't be him either. Am I forecasting an unbelievable upset by Libertarian candidate Garrett Hays? Nope.

In the end, the real winner will be Disney. And no, I'm not referring to Sonny's $40 million

(or is it $2 million?) Disney land deal that keeps getting so much attention. No, I'm talking about the company itself, and all the free publicity it keeps getting from the Georgia Governor's race. Honestly, can you recall any other election race in which this many Disney characters have been referenced?

Governor Sonny Perdue's campaign began the cartoon characterizations by likening Lt. Governor Mark Taylor to Pinocchio. The TV spot featured a less than flattering photo of Taylor with his nose slowly stretching across the

screen, even sprouting tiny leaves to add that extra special little touch. Later, in a live debate, Taylor responded by saying that if Perdue were a dwarf, he would be "Greedy" Dwarf.

That's what I like, when candidates stick to the issues. As far as I'm concerned, the sooner we resolve this Pinocchio/Greedy Dwarf debate, the better. Because should those two ever magically come to life, escape from the "Disney Vault", and try to run for the highest office in Georgia, we darn well better know ahead of time which

horse to back. While we're at it, we should probably feel out where we stand on having Jiminy Cricket as House Majority Leader or Bambi as Secretary of Defense. You know, just in case.

In the meantime I suppose we'll have to settle for a choice between Taylor and Perdue for the next four years. Rumor is, both of their camps are now ready to initiate the next phase of the campaigns, as their top minds are busy preparing clever new attacks to the tune of, "I'm rubber, you're glue, bounces off of me and sticks to you."