INSTIGATING LOGIC
By JARED PUTNAM

Needless inventions

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a tech junkie. Whatever the latest gadget to hit the market, I always find myself wanting it. Whether it is a cell phone, computer, or any one of a dozen other gizmos, I usually have my eye on the latest and greatest.

The problem is, I'm just not always ready, willing, and to shell out the money for them. Still, its fair to say that I have more than my fair share of electronic toys.

But even as much as I love things that make my life more convenient and entertaining, even I can't help but roll my eyes when I hear some of the things that people create.

My current favorite needless invention is a toilet paper roll holder that, get this...also holds and charges your Ipod. Yes, that is a real invention. Seriously. I'm not kidding. But lets face the facts, it is

needed, really. After all, what better way to say "Hi, I'm an overly priveleged American who is completely out of touch with the rest of the world," than a toilet paper roll holder that charges your Ipod? If it's true that necessity is the mother of invention, I think convenience must be the spoiled grandchild that no one likes.

Getting demoted

Needless inventions are bad enough, but at least they can be used for some small, albeit meaningless purpose.

Even worse than meaningless inventions, are pointless exercises. If you have watched the news lately you have probably heard that Pluto, our ninth planet from the sun...is no longer our ninth planet from the sun.

It has been demoted to some lesser status, and frankly, I just don't care enough to find out all the details.

This is one of those cases that makes me ask, do the people debating this just not have enough to do?

This is almost as bad as congressmen renaming french fries and french toast, "freedom fries" and "freedom toast." To me, that just screams, "I'm employed at a position where can't find enough useful things to do with my time."

These things might all be well and good if we lived in Utopian society where they were the biggest of our concerns. But as it is, remember some of the things we're dealing with now like perhaps...cancer? How about terrorism? War, maybe?

I know we can't all have the most prestigious or important tasks in life, but I do hope that the vast majority of them at least fall somewhere above planetary debates and reclassifying items on a menu.